Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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