yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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