you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
