what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize