i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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