When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
