hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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