I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
