Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
