Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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