I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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