i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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