Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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