You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize