How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
