I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Someone signed my nipple.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
