Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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