i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
