if only i could text you this smell
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
