but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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