It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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