Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
