I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize