if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
