He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
