"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
