at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
