We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
