Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
