so explain again why im purple
no
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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