i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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