hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
