I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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