I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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