Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When did angry sex become our thing?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
