I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
