Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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