He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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