Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Can you bring me the toilet please
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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