sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
