Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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