This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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