Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
