Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
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I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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