you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
