I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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