Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
