dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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