I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
