Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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