you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Life is so much better after having sex.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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