White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You did what with his pubic hair?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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