So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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