I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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