I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
