Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize